there are some situations where it became weird because of the things i said. it's more like i can't control my mouth. it just tumbles out without me filtering/editing the dialogue and sometimes it's quite funny, and to an extent even, embarrassing.
1. like one night, i had dinner with a cousin and my mother. and there was the 'getai' there. so i accidentally asked my mother 'are the chairs [of the getai floor] for people who haven't die?'
2. another time i saw my acquaintances [X and Y] in school, and we talked for a while. but after that we kind of realized there's nothing much to talk after that, and there was an awkward pause, like, we were waiting for things to happen or something. so i blurted 'why don't you guys make a move first.. because.. i'm going to make a move too.' they looked at me oddly. can't blame them.
3. another time after a conversation with an ex-classmate on the corridor, i said 'ok! i gtg. i got class now, so i'll see you later! wait, not later, as in, around. what i meant is, see you around.'
4. oh then got one time lecture finished already, then i rose. but then the person on my right (whom i don't know), who is blocking the whole row's exit, was still seated. so i just asked 'aren't you moving?' and that poor foreign guy said 'no i'm hanging around here for a while.' to which i replied 'ok. as for me, i'm moving.' HAHAHA. ohmytian. my friend commented that that was VERY odd. i KNOW okay?? think i wasn't embarrassed?
5. Central library. Perk point. I needed a chair. Every chair was used. Then got one guy using TWO chairs (for his legs) and it was the chair i always used. So I walked past once, and stared at him. in the eyes. (i didn't mean to! i was trying to figure out if he's local or foreign) then i surveyed if any other free chairs again before i have to do the inevitable. nope there weren't. so i went back to him and he had already started to push the other chair (for his legs) away. [THAT WAS FUNNY!!!] i said 'i'm sorry..' then he shook his head and said 'don't worry it's perfectly alright..' 'ok, so.. i'll use this.' then i pushed the chair to the other end of the room where i can put my legs up. i mean, that was bad! bad bad bad bad baaaad...
ohmytian!!! what's wrong!!! it's like i'm eccentric!!!
Friday, August 31, 2007
today i crashed into a level 3000 with dr seet as lecturer.
today i met a 1st-3months jc classmate. she lost her fringe.
today i read about princess diana and the welsh monarchy.
today i met qiu han at yih bus stop.
today i collected my nussu welfare diary.
today i met an acquaintance (and his girlfriend) on bus 96.
[our conversation was odd probably due to his girlfriend's presence]
today i used buses A2, 95 and 96.
today i brought a myanmar student (who lost her way) to the student svc ctr.
today i directed someone (who lost her way) to munchie monkey's.
[conclusion: i'm a mobile information booth.]
today i used the internet in cblc.
today i used the toilets thrice. yesterday i used 7 times.
today i ate subway, for the very last time. (bec prices increased)
today i read the papers in the student lounge.
when in fact,
today i had only an hour's tutorial.
hilz
today i met a 1st-3months jc classmate. she lost her fringe.
today i read about princess diana and the welsh monarchy.
today i met qiu han at yih bus stop.
today i collected my nussu welfare diary.
today i met an acquaintance (and his girlfriend) on bus 96.
[our conversation was odd probably due to his girlfriend's presence]
today i used buses A2, 95 and 96.
today i brought a myanmar student (who lost her way) to the student svc ctr.
today i directed someone (who lost her way) to munchie monkey's.
[conclusion: i'm a mobile information booth.]
today i used the internet in cblc.
today i used the toilets thrice. yesterday i used 7 times.
today i ate subway, for the very last time. (bec prices increased)
today i read the papers in the student lounge.
when in fact,
today i had only an hour's tutorial.
hilz
Thursday, August 30, 2007
Aristotle's Stage
I am baffled. So baffled. Like a castaway.
Isolation is deadly, really. It alters one's frequency with regards to the rest of the world. It makes you lose some essential qualities that you used to be proud of, qualities that are relevant to everyone around you.
You just cannot fit in.
Today I was enlightened, and hit hard by the reality of it.
I can't accept situations where you contribute to a ''group'' discussion and everyone stares at you as if you were a hispanic speaking korean. It leads you to 4 different conclusions, either/or:
1. The ''group'' members can't understand what you're saying.
2. Your idea is unsuitable/horrible/over-the-top
3. The ''group'' members are shy to speak up.
4. The ''group'' members can't see you. They're staring into space.
For this analysis I would rule out #4 since there was a distinct pause (during which I heard my own voice saying my name) after the person to my left spoke and before the person to my right spoke. Which means I'm really there. And they can see me.
And for #3, I know of someone's colleagues who DO NOT speak up during board meetings. What's the point of a meeting then? Like, everyone stares at each other? How do they get things settled? Then I realized why they don't share ideas. Because once they contribute, they'll be given the task. And so: 'why bother working more when i can get the salary all the same?' So the best thing to do? Play dumb.
And then I observed my LTs during political science and literature. When the lecturer asked a question to (us) the audience, the people responding are the ones who were A) foreign students or B) overseas-educated students. The question Dr Wong asked was 'what are some nation-states you can think of in the world?' and 5 students responded. 4 of them were foreign students. only 1 of them was singaporean. and the worst part was, she was overseas-educated (an acquaintance of mine, that's why i know). This is a serious generalization, but then it has happened.
[So let's make a parallel to the boardroom. Key words: foreign talent. is that why?]
So, #1 and #2 - they are the more probable explanations as to why such things happen during such uncomfortable group discussions. and my analysis tells me that it's due to:
1. Isolation from the rest of the world.
2. Exposure to other ideologies
3. Hence different/wrong frequency, not in "tune" with society's makings
If we look around us, we do find people being able to connect readily with each other.
like, they share the same beliefs,
understand the same films in the same way,
finding the same thing beautiful and another not,
whereas others would thing the first was ugly and the second not.
they can understand each other's views completely in less than 10 words,
they can also see the same flaws, see the flaws of seeing the flaws, see the flaws of seeing the flaws of the flaws...
i guess what i really mean is a "soul-someone". i mean, a "soul-someone". it doesn't have to be someone of the opposite gender at all. and it certainly doesn't have to involve romance or anything. to be honest i look at aristotle's stage today and i realize that even my best friends don't even come close. if i have to give an example.. the closest "soul-someone" i can find is probably my brother. like, sometimes i start a request by saying his name, and then he knows exactly what i requested for without me completing my sentence.
i wished i had a twin. or a clone.
haiz.
whatever.
Isolation is deadly, really. It alters one's frequency with regards to the rest of the world. It makes you lose some essential qualities that you used to be proud of, qualities that are relevant to everyone around you.
You just cannot fit in.
Today I was enlightened, and hit hard by the reality of it.
I can't accept situations where you contribute to a ''group'' discussion and everyone stares at you as if you were a hispanic speaking korean. It leads you to 4 different conclusions, either/or:
1. The ''group'' members can't understand what you're saying.
2. Your idea is unsuitable/horrible/over-the-top
3. The ''group'' members are shy to speak up.
4. The ''group'' members can't see you. They're staring into space.
For this analysis I would rule out #4 since there was a distinct pause (during which I heard my own voice saying my name) after the person to my left spoke and before the person to my right spoke. Which means I'm really there. And they can see me.
And for #3, I know of someone's colleagues who DO NOT speak up during board meetings. What's the point of a meeting then? Like, everyone stares at each other? How do they get things settled? Then I realized why they don't share ideas. Because once they contribute, they'll be given the task. And so: 'why bother working more when i can get the salary all the same?' So the best thing to do? Play dumb.
And then I observed my LTs during political science and literature. When the lecturer asked a question to (us) the audience, the people responding are the ones who were A) foreign students or B) overseas-educated students. The question Dr Wong asked was 'what are some nation-states you can think of in the world?' and 5 students responded. 4 of them were foreign students. only 1 of them was singaporean. and the worst part was, she was overseas-educated (an acquaintance of mine, that's why i know). This is a serious generalization, but then it has happened.
[So let's make a parallel to the boardroom. Key words: foreign talent. is that why?]
So, #1 and #2 - they are the more probable explanations as to why such things happen during such uncomfortable group discussions. and my analysis tells me that it's due to:
1. Isolation from the rest of the world.
2. Exposure to other ideologies
3. Hence different/wrong frequency, not in "tune" with society's makings
If we look around us, we do find people being able to connect readily with each other.
like, they share the same beliefs,
understand the same films in the same way,
finding the same thing beautiful and another not,
whereas others would thing the first was ugly and the second not.
they can understand each other's views completely in less than 10 words,
they can also see the same flaws, see the flaws of seeing the flaws, see the flaws of seeing the flaws of the flaws...
i guess what i really mean is a "soul-someone". i mean, a "soul-someone". it doesn't have to be someone of the opposite gender at all. and it certainly doesn't have to involve romance or anything. to be honest i look at aristotle's stage today and i realize that even my best friends don't even come close. if i have to give an example.. the closest "soul-someone" i can find is probably my brother. like, sometimes i start a request by saying his name, and then he knows exactly what i requested for without me completing my sentence.
i wished i had a twin. or a clone.
haiz.
whatever.
Saturday, August 25, 2007
Freedom of Press
The Reporters Without Borders organization was formed in 1985 and has been fighting for press freedom on a daily basis. Basically they do take care of each region (ie. Asia Pacific, the Americas, Africa etc) by compiling reports of press freedom violations. Their researchers then send protest letters to pressurize the target government who do not respect the right to inform and be informed. It also send releases to the media to gather support for such journalists under attack.
World Press Freedom Day is on May 3.
An offending word or photo may result in the journalist himself being persecuted. Hence RWB defends the persecuted and also exposes their mistreatment/torture in certain countries.
Also, RWB fights against censorship.
"198 journalists and media assistants killed since the start of fighting in Iraq in March 2003, two still missing, 14 are kidnapped"
...
"Two journalists under sentence of death now on 42nd day of hunger strikes" - Iran, yesterday
...
"With 11 journalist currently detained, Iran continues to be the Middle East’s biggest prison for the press and is one of the world’s 10 most repressive countries as regards freedom of the media." -RWB
...
The regime in Libya (a one-party state) controls the media and there are no independent press outlets. The press is simply a propaganda tool in Libya, under the rule of the “Brother Leader,” Muammar Gaddafi. Said one journalist: “In Libya, you can criticise Allah but not Gaddafi." However, times are changing, and now they have public internet access points. Hence Libyans may finally be out of the dark.
"Government gets blog service providers to sign "self-discipline" pact to end anonymous blogging" - China, two days ago
This pact was signed by at least 20 leading blog service providers in China including Yahoo.cn and MSN.cn. This marks the end to anonymous blogging in China. Upon signing to this pact, blog service providers are “encouraged” to register users under their real names and contact information before letting them post blogs. More seriously, they will be required to keep this information, which will allow the authorities to identify them. These companies have already in the past provided the police with information about their clients, resulting in arrests.
"The pact says “blog providers should monitor and manage comments ... and delete illegal and bad information in a timely manner.” Articles 11 and 12 urge them to equip themselves with a secure management system that allows them to keep bloggers’ details, including their real name, address, contact number and email address.
ISC secretary-general Huang Chengqing was clear yesterday when he said: “Blog service providers who allow the use of pseudonyms may be more attractive to bloggers, but they will be punished by the government if they fail to screen illegal information.”
Let's turn our direction to something more relevant to us:
"Singapore near bottom of press freedom index" -April 2004
Reporters Sans Frontieres recently published their 3rd Press Freedom Index, which ranked 167 countries for the degree of press freedom in them. Not surprisingly, Singapore ranked low, at position 147, i.e. 88% down from the top.
The only countries ranking lower than Singapore are dictatorships such as Burma and Pakistan, or communist countries such as Vietnam and China. Indeed, Singapore is also a one-party state, and all the main newspapers and broadcast stations are either government-owned or government-controlled.
"An adviser to former Prime Minister Lee Kuan Yew reprimanded Today editor Mano Sabnani in November for allowing a report to be published about a trip by Lee's wife to London for medical reasons. The young journalist who wrote the story, Val Chua, reportedly had her press card suspended."
"More famously, various foreign media have been bullied not to write searching articles about Singapore. Some, such as the Far Eastern Economic Review, have had their circulation curtailed. Others, such as the International Herald Tribune and the Economist, have either been sued in court for libel or threatened with such suits. In a recent case, the Economist was alleged to have libeled the Lee family when it said having the wife of the Prime Minister as head of the holding company that owned most government-linked businesses, suggested nepotism. The Economist chose to apologise and settle rather than fight the case in court. No one has yet won such cases against government figures in Singapore. "
World Press Freedom Day is on May 3.
An offending word or photo may result in the journalist himself being persecuted. Hence RWB defends the persecuted and also exposes their mistreatment/torture in certain countries.
Also, RWB fights against censorship.
"198 journalists and media assistants killed since the start of fighting in Iraq in March 2003, two still missing, 14 are kidnapped"
...
"Two journalists under sentence of death now on 42nd day of hunger strikes" - Iran, yesterday
...
"With 11 journalist currently detained, Iran continues to be the Middle East’s biggest prison for the press and is one of the world’s 10 most repressive countries as regards freedom of the media." -RWB
...
The regime in Libya (a one-party state) controls the media and there are no independent press outlets. The press is simply a propaganda tool in Libya, under the rule of the “Brother Leader,” Muammar Gaddafi. Said one journalist: “In Libya, you can criticise Allah but not Gaddafi." However, times are changing, and now they have public internet access points. Hence Libyans may finally be out of the dark.
"Government gets blog service providers to sign "self-discipline" pact to end anonymous blogging" - China, two days ago
This pact was signed by at least 20 leading blog service providers in China including Yahoo.cn and MSN.cn. This marks the end to anonymous blogging in China. Upon signing to this pact, blog service providers are “encouraged” to register users under their real names and contact information before letting them post blogs. More seriously, they will be required to keep this information, which will allow the authorities to identify them. These companies have already in the past provided the police with information about their clients, resulting in arrests.
"The pact says “blog providers should monitor and manage comments ... and delete illegal and bad information in a timely manner.” Articles 11 and 12 urge them to equip themselves with a secure management system that allows them to keep bloggers’ details, including their real name, address, contact number and email address.
ISC secretary-general Huang Chengqing was clear yesterday when he said: “Blog service providers who allow the use of pseudonyms may be more attractive to bloggers, but they will be punished by the government if they fail to screen illegal information.”
Let's turn our direction to something more relevant to us:
"Singapore near bottom of press freedom index" -April 2004
Reporters Sans Frontieres recently published their 3rd Press Freedom Index, which ranked 167 countries for the degree of press freedom in them. Not surprisingly, Singapore ranked low, at position 147, i.e. 88% down from the top.
The only countries ranking lower than Singapore are dictatorships such as Burma and Pakistan, or communist countries such as Vietnam and China. Indeed, Singapore is also a one-party state, and all the main newspapers and broadcast stations are either government-owned or government-controlled.
"An adviser to former Prime Minister Lee Kuan Yew reprimanded Today editor Mano Sabnani in November for allowing a report to be published about a trip by Lee's wife to London for medical reasons. The young journalist who wrote the story, Val Chua, reportedly had her press card suspended."
"More famously, various foreign media have been bullied not to write searching articles about Singapore. Some, such as the Far Eastern Economic Review, have had their circulation curtailed. Others, such as the International Herald Tribune and the Economist, have either been sued in court for libel or threatened with such suits. In a recent case, the Economist was alleged to have libeled the Lee family when it said having the wife of the Prime Minister as head of the holding company that owned most government-linked businesses, suggested nepotism. The Economist chose to apologise and settle rather than fight the case in court. No one has yet won such cases against government figures in Singapore. "
Friday, August 24, 2007
A Discussion on Discussions
Suddenly that very word appears alien to me: DISCUSSION.
Now what exactly is a discussion? (Try defining it on your own before you read on.)
......
......
Is a discussion an act of one person sharing his view to another and the other doing likewise? Or does a discussion have to come to a certain level of compromise or agreement in order to qualify as a discussion? Or does a discussion have to involve 2 or more conflicting views? Because as far as I see it, without 2 or more conflicting views, it's a conversation. What's a conversation? What's a discussion?
Dictionary.com says it is
an act or instance of discussing; consideration or examination by argument, comment, etc., esp. to explore solutions; informal debate.
American Heritage Dictionary says it is
1. Consideration of a subject by a group; an earnest conversation.
2. A formal discourse on a topic; an exposition.
So is a discussion simply an exchanging of views without coming to a conclusion or does is it also comprised of a compromise? Because as far as I understand the definitions, two people can engage in a headlock argument and come out of the room saying "we had a good discussion on that issue."
Now what exactly is a discussion? (Try defining it on your own before you read on.)
......
......
Is a discussion an act of one person sharing his view to another and the other doing likewise? Or does a discussion have to come to a certain level of compromise or agreement in order to qualify as a discussion? Or does a discussion have to involve 2 or more conflicting views? Because as far as I see it, without 2 or more conflicting views, it's a conversation. What's a conversation? What's a discussion?
Dictionary.com says it is
an act or instance of discussing; consideration or examination by argument, comment, etc., esp. to explore solutions; informal debate.
American Heritage Dictionary says it is
1. Consideration of a subject by a group; an earnest conversation.
2. A formal discourse on a topic; an exposition.
So is a discussion simply an exchanging of views without coming to a conclusion or does is it also comprised of a compromise? Because as far as I understand the definitions, two people can engage in a headlock argument and come out of the room saying "we had a good discussion on that issue."
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
more musings
you see, it doesn't occur to you if you own that something that everyone else has.
cos, it only occurs to you if you don't own something that everyone else has.
someone (he's a foreigner without a handphone) has mentioned in my nm forum, why is it that we need a mobile phone for everything in singapore? this is what he says:
"1. International Student Services (ISS) invited me to join the Conversation Exchange Corner, a program helping students to improve speaking skill. The application form online is indeed very detailed in the way that it required a handphone number.
2. CORS feedback form online does also required a handphone number.
3. When I applied for NUS Debit Card issued by DBS Bank, the bankteller insisted that I must have a handphone to continue."
have we moved on into a new age without my knowledge?
and then we look into the education system and i wonder, what happens to graduates from ITE?
what happens to students who couldn't make it into university?
those who are able to afford overseas tertiary education, that's fine. but what about those who can't? do they have a way out?
cos, it only occurs to you if you don't own something that everyone else has.
someone (he's a foreigner without a handphone) has mentioned in my nm forum, why is it that we need a mobile phone for everything in singapore? this is what he says:
"1. International Student Services (ISS) invited me to join the Conversation Exchange Corner, a program helping students to improve speaking skill. The application form online is indeed very detailed in the way that it required a handphone number.
2. CORS feedback form online does also required a handphone number.
3. When I applied for NUS Debit Card issued by DBS Bank, the bankteller insisted that I must have a handphone to continue."
have we moved on into a new age without my knowledge?
and then we look into the education system and i wonder, what happens to graduates from ITE?
what happens to students who couldn't make it into university?
those who are able to afford overseas tertiary education, that's fine. but what about those who can't? do they have a way out?
Monday, August 20, 2007
B&B
i can't stand it. i don't understand why the "globally-recognized" NUS comes with bidding and balloting [b&b] which costs us all HOURS in front of cors and what not, trying to tie the loose ends. and [b&b] though they sound different, holds ultimately the same concept. can you see that? rank 1: 20 points. rank 2: 19 points. and so on.
and then i start to wonder, why can't nus function as other unis do? why not just publish the no. of vacancies for each tut slot, and students sign up accordingly, guaranteed of their seat?
it's like really bad, like, how my schedule is screwed up. like for example how my tuesdays are from what, 3pm to 8pm??? and weds are like 2pm to 8pm??
the only light at the end of the tunnel explains to me that [b&b] is simply a system that ensures that place allocation is fair in the sense that if let's say a student haven't got the time to rush to the portal when [b&b] starts when all his peers have done it, he would be disadvantaged. so that's the only reason i can think of.
sigh.
at this moment in time some tears just came out by accident because oprah is on, and she just fulfilled an african girl's dream of going to school. can you see what she's telling me?
oh man! what do we do!
____________________________
guilt review
____________________________
my grandma broke her arm.
that's the thing about the elderly, they are so fragile even though their external looks stronger than their internal, however lively they may appear to be. and i don't understand why anlene isn't working.
and my grandmother... i feel guilty about it, because i asked her out to watch the 'lao-lang' movie 881 by royston tan. and when i met her she was holding her wrist, i ask her what happened and she said she fell down while crossing the road. i mean, we were meeting at 12 but she was there earlier. old people, they have a knack for punctuality. everytime we meet up for a movie she's always earlier than me. EVERY SINGLE TIME. and don't say that i should have got there earlier, i was there at 11.45am and she was already there!!!
if only i didn't ask her out to watch 881. none of these would have happened...
so this post is just to remind you (and myself) of the fragility of the elderly.
i just got a call. my the other grandmother, on mom's side of the family, just called me to bring her to 881 because i've no school today.
-hilz
and then i start to wonder, why can't nus function as other unis do? why not just publish the no. of vacancies for each tut slot, and students sign up accordingly, guaranteed of their seat?
it's like really bad, like, how my schedule is screwed up. like for example how my tuesdays are from what, 3pm to 8pm??? and weds are like 2pm to 8pm??
the only light at the end of the tunnel explains to me that [b&b] is simply a system that ensures that place allocation is fair in the sense that if let's say a student haven't got the time to rush to the portal when [b&b] starts when all his peers have done it, he would be disadvantaged. so that's the only reason i can think of.
sigh.
at this moment in time some tears just came out by accident because oprah is on, and she just fulfilled an african girl's dream of going to school. can you see what she's telling me?
oh man! what do we do!
____________________________
guilt review
____________________________
my grandma broke her arm.
that's the thing about the elderly, they are so fragile even though their external looks stronger than their internal, however lively they may appear to be. and i don't understand why anlene isn't working.
and my grandmother... i feel guilty about it, because i asked her out to watch the 'lao-lang' movie 881 by royston tan. and when i met her she was holding her wrist, i ask her what happened and she said she fell down while crossing the road. i mean, we were meeting at 12 but she was there earlier. old people, they have a knack for punctuality. everytime we meet up for a movie she's always earlier than me. EVERY SINGLE TIME. and don't say that i should have got there earlier, i was there at 11.45am and she was already there!!!
if only i didn't ask her out to watch 881. none of these would have happened...
so this post is just to remind you (and myself) of the fragility of the elderly.
i just got a call. my the other grandmother, on mom's side of the family, just called me to bring her to 881 because i've no school today.
-hilz
Thursday, August 16, 2007
A Complaint. (I can't stand it!!!!)
Games can contribute positively to one's mental development.
But they can also be detrimental and brain-washing and highly radioactive.
Take the stupid game that we should NOT have played during that chalet. The stupid pig game that resulted in a certain freshman being ostracized even AFTER the game. That stupid Level 1, Level 2, and Level 3 and as if that's not enough, they coined the mind-blowing, hand-in-hand, and convenient term: "ULTIMATE PIG".
And a certain person that goes by the email of w**j***85 has been destroying a freshman's hope of a clean and respectable start to her uni life by uttering that fatal term U______ P__ in front of his friends when that freshman was most unfortunately within his radius. How the victim wished she wasn't there at all.
(Ironically however, the victim was walking towards the Deck. But that's not the point here!)
Oh, and that's not all. That person that goes by the email of w**j***85 has generously dedicated his MSN nick with "Ultimate PIG, told you not to let me see you in sch le".
How the world needs more of such.
I urge the relevant authorities to look into the matter.
OH ya, did i mention?? I took a photo with paul twohill! haha. it's my lucky month. :)
But they can also be detrimental and brain-washing and highly radioactive.
Take the stupid game that we should NOT have played during that chalet. The stupid pig game that resulted in a certain freshman being ostracized even AFTER the game. That stupid Level 1, Level 2, and Level 3 and as if that's not enough, they coined the mind-blowing, hand-in-hand, and convenient term: "ULTIMATE PIG".
And a certain person that goes by the email of w**j***85 has been destroying a freshman's hope of a clean and respectable start to her uni life by uttering that fatal term U______ P__ in front of his friends when that freshman was most unfortunately within his radius. How the victim wished she wasn't there at all.
(Ironically however, the victim was walking towards the Deck. But that's not the point here!)
Oh, and that's not all. That person that goes by the email of w**j***85 has generously dedicated his MSN nick with "Ultimate PIG, told you not to let me see you in sch le".
How the world needs more of such.
I urge the relevant authorities to look into the matter.
OH ya, did i mention?? I took a photo with paul twohill! haha. it's my lucky month. :)
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